by Bryant Wilson

[Background sounds] Order now. Operators are standing by.

And that’s one birthday little Timmy will never forget. And now here is the weather forecast with the very model of your basic cable weatherman, Buck Flurry.

[singing] I am the very model of your basic cable, weather man have information, climatal models on Zimbabwe to Afghanistan and all types of wrinkles in their DNA, alphabetical, cumulous or stratus, like in less than categorical and very well acquainted, too, with matters quite statistical. I understand the atmosphere both here and international about the current temperature, I really am a genius. I even know the difference between Fahrenheit and Celsius.

[singing continues] I’m very good with green screens and throwing to the helicopter, motioning to empty space and reading from the teleprompter to manage climate tolls Zimbabwe to Afghanistan. I am the very model of your basic cable, weather man.

Shorten matters climate models Zimbabwe to Afghanistan. He is the very model of your basic cable. Whether.

I know the average heat index in Cuba and in Panama, but if you like it, chilly, you will want to visit Canada. And if you’re out in England than here, Stonehenge is a sight to see. But not today because I am reading zero visibility. I see your doctor 30 K it’s raining out in Monaco.

Mother Nature looks as if she’s putting on quite a show. Tornado warnings up in Kansas. Heed the words I have to say. Unless, of course, your house is one that happens to get blown away.

Books are a breeze for me. That mathematical. But any more than five I know have to read my crystal ball and Jordan matters Clements Zimbabwe to Afghanistan. I am the very model of your basic cable, whether man in matters climatal Zimbabwe to Afghanistan.

He is the very model of your basic cable weatherman.

Breaking news is coming in from an after observation post, torrential rain and lightning strikes or somewhere off the eastern coast. And if I’m right in bed, I am. This can only mean a single thing. Hurricaine is blowing in both powerful and damaging trees.

This is not a test. Take my word. It’s serious. Lock your doors, don’t try to go outside, it’s dangerous. Flash flood warnings in effect. The rain is falling down in sheets. And don’t forget the gust of wind, that threat to blow you off your feet. Though it seems I’m kind of in the dark over the century, the silly single person you can trust with all this anarchy is all that matters in climatal models on Zimbabwe to Afghanistan I am the very modern love your basic cable weather man.

In other news. One more time.

I am the very model of your basic cable, whether man of information, climatal from Zimbabwe to Afghanistan And I noticed because of the gene alphabetical cumulus stratus list categorical, very well acquainted with matchboxes Stickler for interest, then the expert both here in International about the current temperature.

I really am a genius I even in the evening Fahrenheit Celsius. I’m going to the help was read from a teleprompter. [gibberish]